Amayi(mother).

A mother carrying her child on her back

A mother holding her child in the village

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden,

and I will give you rest.

Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me,

for I am gentle and lowly in heart

and you will find rest for your souls.

For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.

Matthew 11:28-30

Amayi(mother).

In Malawi your name directly references your mother and your relationship to your mother. For example: the people in Malawi would refer to my mother as Amayi Carolyn (mother of Carolyn) and would call me daughter of Kay. Their process of naming demonstrates their respect for women, especially mothers. 

Malawi is a matriarchal society. I believe part of this is due to their social structure. The men live and work hundreds of kilometers away from their family in order to provide. The women stay home and nurture the children and the farm. In this structure, a father is a less stable parental figure in the family network. Therefore, the women must be strong and lead to keep the family unit together.

The concept of motherhood is very fluid in Malawi. I would be introduced to a patient's guardian as amayi (mother) and then weeks later discover the guardian was actually agogo (grandmother). Transfer of motherhood is also flexible. Adoption in Malawi only requires the approval of the biological mother and the village chief. One of the nurses I met in the hospital had previously adopted a neglected infant in the pediatric ward using that simple process. Even as an azungu (a non-derogatory term for white person), one could be called amayi if she showed love and care to a child similar to the way Malawian mothers love and care for their children. It was interesting to see that even though it is a fluid process, motherhood is always highly esteemed in the community.

I experienced this profound respect for Malawian mothers, especially mothers of children with disability. Malawian mothers always carry their children on their back (as pictured in the photo above). It's quite impressive to see them use a simple piece of cloth (which can also be used as a skirt) with a simple double knot to carry their children on their backs. I saw hundreds of women, walking miles to get to the hospital, carrying their little ones on their back seeking treatment. Some came to the pediatric ward with malaria, some with burns, some with fractures, some with malnutrition, yet, no matter the condition, all the children came to the hospital on their mother's back.

I had the privilege of meeting a mother whose child had cerebral palsy. The mother had traveled all day with her two children to seek physical therapy help at St. Gabriel's. Six months before I met her, she had arrived to St. Gabriel's because she had heard there was physical therapy at the hospital. Unfortunately, our team of physical therapists were not there yet, so she and her two daughters had to walk the trek back to their village with a hopeful PT appointment in December.

When I saw her, I was struck with awe and respect. She had walked miles with her infant wrapped around her front and her 5 year old daughter with cerebral palsy bundled on her back. Since her 5 year old could not walk due to her condition, this mother carried the weight of both her children in order to seek help. When I heard her story from the nurses and discovered that she had made this journey 6 months ago, I was stunned. I cannot imagine walking all day with the weight of 2 children in hopes of finding help for my disabled child. Though I cannot imagine it, I can appreciate it.

I appreciate the love for her children. I appreciate the faith and the hope that there is a better quality of life for her diabled child, if she would fight for it. I appreciate the sacrifice: sacrificing her body, her time, her days work yeild, all for the sake of her children. She embodied a love for her children that was deeper than anything I have ever experienced. A love so deep that she was willing to do anything for it.

This kind of love is not just in Malawi. This kind of motherly sacrifice can be seen everywhere, if you open your eyes to it. Though it may manifest differently due to socioeconomic factors, the essence of this love and this sacrifice can be witnessed here in the States. In the States, I have had the privilege to know a family that represents this type of sacrificial love and I have had the honor of knowing a mother who lays down her life for her child with disability. Though this mother does not physically wear the weight of her child on her back as the mothers in Malawi, she emotionally and spiritually bears the burden of her child.

When my eyes were opened to this similarity between mothers in the States and mothers in Malawi, my heart was encouraged. I was encouraged because it demonstrates that Christ's love is shining through the lives of his people. We have the privilege and the duty to shine Christ's love through our family, our friends, our church - all our interactions.

Yet, as a church, similar to the hospital in Malawi, there comes a time when the mother or the family can no longer bear the weight of their children alone, especially those of children with disability. It is in these moments of need that, as a church, we have the honor of loving our brothers and sisters in Christ by upholding their arms. Whether physical, financial, emotional, spiritual, we are called to love on our family of Christ in their time of need. 

This experience in Malawi opened my eyes to the needs of mothers in my life. It stirred me to seek out those who need help (whatever it may be). It also encouraged me to pray for the mothers in my life, especially those with disabled children. So, again, I urge and encourage you, my readers, to pray for the mothers in your life. Pray for those with children of disability. Yet, don't just pray, come alongside them. Help them bear the burden on their back.

So Joshua fought the Amalekites as Moses had ordered,

and Moses, Aaron and Hur went to the top of the hill.

As long as Moses held up his hands,

the Israelites were winning,

but whenever he lowered his hands,

the Amalekites were winning.

When Moses' hands grew tired,

they took a stone and put it under him and he sat on it.

Aaron and Hur held his hands up

- one on one side, one on the other -

so that his hands remained steady till sunset.

So Joshua overcame the Amalekite army with the sword.

Exodus 17:10-13