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| These guardians loved to test my Chichewa greetings. On my last day at the hospital they asked for a "snap" (picture). |
We hold love in our hands
when we shake them.
Malawian Proverb
Greetings and handshakes.
Mwadzuka bwanji?(How did you wake up?)
Ndadzuka bwino. Kaya inu?(I woke up fine. How about you?)
Ndadzuka bwino. Zikomo.(I woke up fine. Thank you.)
Zikomo.(Thank you.)
This is how I would greet the patients, patients' guardians, staff and anyone else with whom I made eye contact in the morning. Greetings are extremely important to know in Malawi. Since it is a relational culture, it is expected to greet, whether long or short, formal or informal, handshake or quick pass by. You are considered rude if you don't greet someone before asking them a question (such as, "Where are the wheelchairs?") or if you know the person. My professor told us that "azungus" (white people) who did not take the time to greet were made fun of in the hospital. Nurses would say as a foreign doctor strutted through the hospital, "Where is he running off to all serious?" In Malawi you are expected to value the relationship above the task or even the duty.
One of the things I love most about Malawi is the value of the relationship. This value is demonstrated through the way one greets. An important part of the greeting is the handshake. The handshake is intentional, firm, strong. It isn't as short as it is in the States. The length varies, but is proportional to the importance of the relationship. The closer the relationship, the longer the handshake. And the closer you become, the more love you can feel flowing from the handshake. It's like a conductor, transferring love back and forth between people. It's contagious.
The handshake can also be fun: grasp the hand, then the thumb, then the hand again. If you happen to say or do something funny (which I unintentionally did all the time because I'm a silly azungu trying to learn Chichewa), someone (or someones) will give you a jolly firm handshake to congratulate you on your joke (intentional or not). The handshake can reveal the amount of joy and fun between two people.
There is nothing better or more belly-laughing fun than being in the community treatment room with a bunch of women. The patients and the caregivers had so much fun teaching us all and I mean all the common handshakes and greetings. They would test our knowledge by mixing it up, greeting one azungu with "Muli bwa" (Short for "how are you?") and another with "Mwatendela bwino" (still not sure what that means...I couldn't figure out from our sign language, but I think it means good afternoon...and it's a tongue twister). Boy, did they laugh when we would make a mistake and, boy, would they laugh if we conjugated an unfamiliar greeting correctly. So, it really didn't matter what we did, our presence mixed with their presence was a recipe for laughter and handshakes.
I loved those moments. I don't think I have laughed so hard in forever...if ever. What I loved the most is that they were sharing no only a part of their culture but also a part of themselves. Though we couldn't communicate in each other's languages, we could share our love when we shook hands.
The handshake was also a unique way through which the Lord identified my brothers and sisters in Christ. When I shook someones hand, I would know if they were a Christian if we had this unspeakable connection. It was instant camaraderie which was then later confirmed if they would talk about Mulungu(God). It was then wonderful to see these men and women who loved the Lord transform the community treatment room (typically 3 to a room) of strangers into a close-knit family within a week. My heart would then be stirred as I witnessed these patients and their guardians helping one another with meal preparation, cleaning, even physiotherapy programs. It eventual got to the point were I wasn't really needed, because the guardians and patients were helping each other do their exercises and their walking for the day. This brought joy to my heart. This is how physiotherapy should be globally: train the trainer, teach the caregiver, give them the tools to heal and help one another.
As you can see, the greeting and the handshake are much more than a mere gesture. It ignites healing. It unites strangers. It transforms a hospital into a home. I miss my family in Malawi: handshakes, belly-laughs and all.
One of the things I love most about Malawi is the value of the relationship. This value is demonstrated through the way one greets. An important part of the greeting is the handshake. The handshake is intentional, firm, strong. It isn't as short as it is in the States. The length varies, but is proportional to the importance of the relationship. The closer the relationship, the longer the handshake. And the closer you become, the more love you can feel flowing from the handshake. It's like a conductor, transferring love back and forth between people. It's contagious.
The handshake can also be fun: grasp the hand, then the thumb, then the hand again. If you happen to say or do something funny (which I unintentionally did all the time because I'm a silly azungu trying to learn Chichewa), someone (or someones) will give you a jolly firm handshake to congratulate you on your joke (intentional or not). The handshake can reveal the amount of joy and fun between two people.
There is nothing better or more belly-laughing fun than being in the community treatment room with a bunch of women. The patients and the caregivers had so much fun teaching us all and I mean all the common handshakes and greetings. They would test our knowledge by mixing it up, greeting one azungu with "Muli bwa" (Short for "how are you?") and another with "Mwatendela bwino" (still not sure what that means...I couldn't figure out from our sign language, but I think it means good afternoon...and it's a tongue twister). Boy, did they laugh when we would make a mistake and, boy, would they laugh if we conjugated an unfamiliar greeting correctly. So, it really didn't matter what we did, our presence mixed with their presence was a recipe for laughter and handshakes.
I loved those moments. I don't think I have laughed so hard in forever...if ever. What I loved the most is that they were sharing no only a part of their culture but also a part of themselves. Though we couldn't communicate in each other's languages, we could share our love when we shook hands.
The handshake was also a unique way through which the Lord identified my brothers and sisters in Christ. When I shook someones hand, I would know if they were a Christian if we had this unspeakable connection. It was instant camaraderie which was then later confirmed if they would talk about Mulungu(God). It was then wonderful to see these men and women who loved the Lord transform the community treatment room (typically 3 to a room) of strangers into a close-knit family within a week. My heart would then be stirred as I witnessed these patients and their guardians helping one another with meal preparation, cleaning, even physiotherapy programs. It eventual got to the point were I wasn't really needed, because the guardians and patients were helping each other do their exercises and their walking for the day. This brought joy to my heart. This is how physiotherapy should be globally: train the trainer, teach the caregiver, give them the tools to heal and help one another.
As you can see, the greeting and the handshake are much more than a mere gesture. It ignites healing. It unites strangers. It transforms a hospital into a home. I miss my family in Malawi: handshakes, belly-laughs and all.
The English word hospitality originates from the same Latin root as the word hospital.
A hospital is literally a "home for strangers."
Of course, it has come to mean a place of healing. There is a link between being welcomed and being healed.
Skye Jethani
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